There is a life-altering message present in every sales, business, success, and career book I have ever read. It was present in Daniel Pink’s To Sell Is Human and in his The Adventures of Johnny Bunko. Even Jeffrey Gitomer hints toward it in the fantastic Little Red Book of Selling. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People practically screams it at you.
Note that distinguishing between the two is no small feat. It is even common that ego will disguise itself as pride, making things more difficult. But nothing good in life comes easy, and learning the difference between your ego and your pride is definitely a good thing.
Your ego is the fool holding you back. It is the root cause of all your avoidable physical altercations. It is the reason you reject a fellow employee’s ideas simply because they were not yours. It is the reason you have not been able to take full advantage of the resources at your disposable. If you think back, you will probably discover that an inflated ego is the reason behind many of your failings.
Your pride is the best friend pushing you forward. It pushes you to excel and put your all into everything you do. It is what causes you to go that extra mile and organize your weekly report by project. It is the reason you re-painted that wall. It was responsible for the time you worked for a convenient store and made sure all the labels on the cans were facing the same direction. It is the reason I spent 15 minutes relocating the Andrew Carnegie example in Dale Carnegie’s book. Pride is the reason for all of your successful business ventures.
Perhaps the best example, mentioned in How to Win Friends and Influence People, was demonstrated by the Steel King, Andrew Carnegie, in his brutal price-slashing battle with George Pullman for domination of the sleeping-car business: Carnegie presented Pullman with the opportunity to pool their resources and work together. When asked what the new company would be called Carnegie replied, “Why the Pullman Palace Car Company, of course.”
Andrew Carnegie knew the benefits of working with Pullman, and made sure that his ego did not get in the way. To be sure, it does seem like these two men created a money-hungry monopoly. Either way, Carnegie demonstrated incredible tact in creating this monopoly.
One of the many difficulties you may find in controlling your ego and still maintaining your pride is identifying disrespect. It is easy to wonder if you are being overly sensitive. The easiest way I have found to solve this is to compare what I consider “disrespect” to how I treat others. Repeated offenses of disrespect also factor in.
Starve your ego, fuel your pride, and eat more chicken (Chick-Fil-A please endorse me).